The Way I Loved You
by MerDerHeaven09
Summary: Fic based on the Song The Way I loved you by Taylor Swift... Haven't decided if it will just be a one shot or not. Please read and be gentile with reviews it is my first fic. At this point it seems as if all Chapter will be based on songs.
1. The Way I Loved You Karaoke in a Bar

_Disclaimer- I own Nothing!!! ____… First story please be gentile with your reviews, heard this song and made me think of how Meredith probably felt when she was dating Finn during season 2._

_She wasn't drunk but Christina had just dared her to do Karaoke in front of everyone in the bar, and usually she only did Karaoke when she was drunk, but she was dared and she never backs down from a dare. So she went and picked out a song and then went to freshen up her make up before she would be on stage singing her heart out. She was glad that she was wearing her hottest outfit; so that she could give Finn something to look at and she could give Derek something that said eat your heart out McDreamy. She was standing next to the stage preparing to go on when she heard the emcee announce her "And up next we have Meredith Grey Singing The Way I Loved You… Give it up for Meredith"_

_She heard the music start with the guitar and she took a deep breath and then began belting out the lyrics like she was the one who had written the song, she gave them meaning, and let's face it she might as well have, because she meant every word that came out of her lips. _

**_He is sensible and so incredible  
And all my single friends are jealous.  
He says everything I need to hear  
And it's like I couldn't ask for anything better.  
He opens up my door and  
I get into his car and he says  
you look beautiful tonight.  
And I feel perfectly fine._**

_Finn was a great guy he had plans and she really liked him. Her friends were glad to see her happy again. Well at least they thought that she was happy, and up until she heard this song for the first time she had, believed that Finn made her happy but when she heard this song she realized that it was just a front that she had been putting on for so long that she had started to believe it herself._

**_But I miss screamin' and fightin' and kissin' in the rain  
and its 2am and I'm cursin' your name.  
You're so in love that you act insane  
and that's the way I loved you.  
Breakin' down and comin' undone  
it's a roller coaster kinda rush.  
And I never knew I could feel that much.  
And that's the way I loved you._**

_And she did miss Derek; she missed the way his eyes would sparkle when he smiled. She missed the way his arms felt when they were cuddling together after a long night of work, or after they had just made love. She missed how they had kissed in the Seattle rain on their way to the car after a long night at the Hospital. She missed the way they had screamed and fought with each other just to end up making up hours later. But she missed the way he made her feel she missed how much she had loved him, still loved him._

**_He respects my space  
And never makes me wait  
And he calls exactly when he says he will.  
He's close to my mother  
Talks business with my father.  
He's charming and endearing  
And I'm comfortable. _**

_She loved how Finn didn't pressure to do anything that she wasn't ready for yet, he was letting her take control of their relationship and she appreciated how patient he had been with her and her hesitance to move to fast, since everything had happened with Derek and along with her abandonment issues she was hesitant to trust anybody with her emotions let alone her heart but Finn was great. He got along great with her "family" she only had her friends but they had become her family and they loved how he was there for her and hadn't broken her heart like Derek then there was the way she had waited for Derek at the bar and he never showed up, that hurt like hell because she had a feeling that he wasn't going to choose her he was going to do the "right" thing and stay with his Wife.  
_

**_But I miss screamin' and fightin' and kissin' in the rain  
And it's 2am and I'm cursin' your name.  
You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you.  
Breakin' down and comin' undone  
It's a roller coaster kinda rush.  
And I never knew I could feel that much.  
And that's the way I loved you._**

_She missed everything that she and Derek had before she found out the he was married and didn't tell her before they started dating. She hated him for not telling her and yet she couldn't hate him because she still loved him and she knew that she probably always would but he was married and he chose Addison so she had to move in, and who better to move on with than Finn_

**_He can't see the smile I'm fakin'.  
And my hearts not breakin'  
Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all.  
And you were wild and crazy.  
Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated,  
got away like some mistake. _**

_She realized that she had been going through the motions with Finn and that the feelings she had for him weren't as real as the feelings that she still had for Derek. She was fed up with the looks Derek had been giving her because they only made her want him even more and she couldn't have him because he was married and it would just make everything even more complicated than it should be. _

**_And now I,  
I miss screamin', and fightin', and kissin' in the rain  
it's 2am and I'm cursin' your name.  
I'm so in love that I acted insane.  
And that's the way I loved you.  
Breakin' down and comin' undone  
it's a roller coaster kinda rush.  
And I never knew I could feel that much.  
And that's the way I loved you._**

_She missed everything about him, and everything they had together before Addison showed up. She almost wanted lay the blame of her unhappiness all on Addison, and even though Addison wasn't innocent in the whole thing it was Derek's responsibility to tell Meredith that he was still married and he hadn't, he had blown his chance with her._

**_And that's the way I loved you.  
Never knew I could feel that much.  
And that's the way I loved you._**

_But she still Loved him and she was sure that she would always love him._

_The song finished and Meredith put the microphone down did a half curtsy for the standing ovation she had received and wiped her eyes of the tears that she hadn't even realized had fallen from her face as she walked off the stage and over towards her friends and Finn who was ready to embrace her in a hug and tell her how amazing she was._

"_Mer, I had no idea you could sing like that!!! Damn if you weren't dating Finn I would probably have a go at you myself" Alex said as he took another shot of Tequila. "Whoa since when do you belt it out like Celine frickin Deon" Christina, her person chuckled. She hugged Finn and made contact with Derek who was looking at her like he wanted to take advantage of her, and just show her how hot she looked and how hot and bothered she made him feel when she sang like that. He had no clue that she was such a great singer, it made him ache for her even more, for the months before Addison had showed up and ruined everything he had with Meredith. He wished that he had told her and filed for the divorce himself and signed the papers so that they could be together. He realized at that moment just how much he loved and wanted to be with Meredith and it left him feeling ready to divorce his wife and fight like hell to win back the women he truly loved with all of his heart.  
_

_Song- That's the Way I Loved You by Taylor Swift_


	2. Here Without You Derek's Reply

**Song- Here Without You by 3 Doors Down…**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the character, not the lyric nothing**

_Derek still couldn't believe how she had the voice of an angel, he didn't know that she could sing like that and it only made him wish that she were still his even more. He loved the way her hair smelled like Lavender, he loved how she snored while sleeping even if it kept him up at night, he loved the way her smile would go from her lips and reach all the way to her eyes when they were making sweet wonderful passionate love to one another, And he missed her terribly. He knew that she was singing that song to him, the look in her eyes while she was on stage said it all, and he knew that he needed to tell her how he felt or else he might lose her to Finn and even though he was married he still didn't want Finn to have her, even if he was married to Addison. He went and picked out a song for karaoke and prepared himself for what he was about to do. The emcee announced his name and he took the stage, he looked at her to try and gage her reaction and saw a look of curiosity on her face. He took a deep breath as the music began and started belting out the lyrics meaning every single word._

**A hundred days have made me older  
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face  
A thousand lies have made me colder  
**_It had been 100 day since he had chosen Addison over Meredith and he felt as if it had been 1000 he felt old and tired and he just wanted her back, she made him feel young and alive and he loved her. He didn't know how he was going to get through this marriage with Addison without going mad. She was nothing like Meredith and he was getting to the point where he couldn't stand Addison anymore. _

**  
And I don't think I can look at this the same  
But all the miles that separate  
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face  
**_She may not physically be miles away but it felt like they were, he missed her every day. He had promised Addison he would stay away from her and he regretted making that promise, he regretted choosing his wife over her. He dreamed of her every night, when he slept with Addison he had to pretend that she was Meredith just to get through it. He missed holding Meredith in his arms after making love and he missed everything._

**  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me  
**_He dreamed about Meredith every night, he was the last thing on his mind when he fell asleep at night and the first on his mind when he woke up in the morning. He longed for her to be in his bed lying next to him, to be standing next to him in surgery helping him to save the lives of his patients. He wanted her, he needed her and yet he had chosen not to have her. She had begged him to choose her and like an idiot he let her get away and now he was paying for it. He hoped that this song would show Meredith how much he still wanted and needed her and he hoped that Addison wouldn't see the meaning in his eyes or performance because he really didn't want her to cause a scene in front of all of these people.  
_**  
The miles just keep rollin'  
As the people leave their way to say hello  
I've heard this life is overrated  
But I hope that it gets better as we go  
**_Pretending was exhausting, he was tired of putting up a front of happiness and pretend that people weren't talking about him and the mess he had gotten into since he had moved here from New York. He just hoped that one day he would have the guts to do what was right for him and not the right thing because he wanted to be happy and to be happy he would have to divorce Addison and make things right with Meredith so that they could be together and he only hoped that one day this dream of his could become a reality_

**I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl its only you and me**_  
He went to bed every night hoping for Addison to go back to New York, so that he could be happy, he knew that he didn't have the guts to do the selfish thing, he had to be responsible, he couldn't divorce his wife to be with the person he loved, he had taken vows and even though they had already been broken he couldn't be the one to ask for the divorce, it had to be Addison to make the first step and he feared that she would never give him up so that he could be happy._

**Everything I know, and anywhere I go  
It gets hard but it wont take away my love  
And when the last one falls  
When it's all said and done  
It gets hard but it wont take away my love**

**I'm here without you baby  
But you're still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby  
And I dream about you all the time  
I'm here without you baby  
But you're still with me in my dreams  
And tonight girl its only you and me**

_He loved Meredith Grey and wanted to be with her and as he belted out the last line of the song he put so much heart and feeling into it that he hoped that she would see how much it hurt him to be without her, to see how much he wanted to leave Addison and be with her but he couldn't be selfish because other people's feelings were at stake and even though he didn't love Addison anymore he still cared for her even if it was only because they had been married for 11 years, and had dated for 2 before that. He got off the stage and walked back over to his table every now and then glancing at Meredith for a reaction, she had tears in her eyes and when their eyes locked she nodded as if to say I miss you too. He didn't know how but somehow he was going to get her back. Somehow he was going to leave Addison and be with Meredith forever. He only hoped by the time he did it , it wouldn't be too late._

**Please Review... let me know what you think... give me pointers and ideas on how to make it better give me CONSTRUCTIVE critism please just be kind about it seeing as this is my first fanfic and I am NOT an English major**


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